Pick Me, Pick Me - Oh Never Mind

Offender 1:

• Calls twice a day for updates.
• Has a slightly annoyed tone because you haven't found him the perfect job.
• Doesn't return any of your 17 messages when, 3 days after meeting him, you find the perfect position: a title promotion, more money, better hours, closer to home, great environment, fabulous benefits, etc.
• When he finally does return your call, he's not interested in the job because his wife's sister's nephew's best friend was fired from said company SIX years ago for stealing.

Offender 2:

• Always flexible, always returns phone calls, always eager to do any short-term assignments we can find for him.
• Find him a great permanent position that pays him more than his market value and is something he loves doing.
• On his second day on the job he calls to say that he's probably giving his notice next week because he just found out that when he gets hired on permanently they only pay every two weeks and he just can't manage that. To which my response was: Dude, I get paid straight commission once a month - what the heck is your problem.

Offender 3:

• You were a vision of professional loveliness when you walked into our office: impeccably dressed, well-groomed, articulate, degreed, solid work history, strong references, etc.
• You called us three times your first week on the job to thank us - profusely I might add.
• Our client called us twice just to praise us on such a wonderful choice.
• Day 9 on the job you don't show up, you don't call, you don't do anything until I call and wake you up around 9:30 a.m. Then you inform me that somehow, magically, last night you got a job offer in California and you're moving next week. Then you proceed to tell me how you thought the job we helped you find sucked and the people were idiots. Somehow you were offended when I interrupted you and asked if I called the right person. You'll have to pardon me for being confused because just three days ago you said, "I love this so much. I can't imagine ever working anywhere else."

It's not me - it's you,

Mave